Tackling the stereotype

He could see the anger building up inside her, like a volcano ready to erupt. Her blood was boiling with rage; the veins in her neck looked ready to pop. Her shouting was growing louder and more frantic by the second. Her words were menacing and threatening. As she advanced towards him her anger reached its pinnacle and she lunged at him, slapping him across the face. He tried to get passed her, tried to walk away, but she wouldn’t let him. Oh no, she wanted him to suffer. And he would.

She caught him again, this time by the back of the head. She pulled him to the floor and he fell, cowering as she continued to punch him over and over again. His plight was not over yet. She carried on hitting him; in the face, in the chest, in the back, anywhere she knew it would hurt. She beat him to the point of exhaustion, until he was gagging and heaving. But she did not stop there. This woman showed no mercy. She grabbed him by the hair, drowned out his screams with her own voice, and demanded an apology from him;

“I’m sorry for upsetting ya,” Tyrone whimpered. Kirsty let go and it was over. Until the next time.

Viewers were shocked when they tuned into Coronation Street and witnessed a manipulative Kirsty violently beating up hapless Tyrone. The storyline, which has been gathering momentum over the past few months, has gripped viewers both here and in the U.K. The soap has successfully tackled the ‘stereotype’ of domestic violence and, in doing so, has raised awareness of the fact that it is not only males who abuse and it is not only females who are victims of abuse. Despite this fact being out there, in the public domain, it still continues to shock, as viewers have seen in the Kirsty, Tyrone scenario.

Unfortunately domestic violence against men is not just confined to soap operas like Coronation Street or Fair City. Just last week newspaper headlines around the world reported on former tennis ace Jennifer Capriati’s alleged abuse and stalking against ex-boyfriend Ivan Brennan Jr. The three-time Grand Slam champion allegedly assaulted her former partner in a Valentines Day domestic incident. Although this episode of domestic abuse was reported, in general, domestic violence against men is ignored and has been deemed the “invisible domestic violence”. While it may be invisible in terms of being acknowledged in the media, the statistics that surround it cannot be ignored. Research carried out in Ireland has shown a 150% increase in domestic abuse against men in the last five years. It also found that two in five of all domestic violence victims are men. The report discovered that 88,000 men in Ireland have been severely abused by a partner at some point in their lives, however only 5% of men have reported this abuse to the Gardaí.

So why has there been an increase in domestic violence against men, and, more importantly, why are they so reluctant to report this abuse to the authorities? There are a number of reasons why female violence has become more dominant in recent years. Changes in drinking patterns, which can lead to more women being arrested for violent conduct outside the home, could account for one reason as to why female violence is suddenly more prevalent. CCTV footage has also contributed significantly in supplying evidence to Gardaí which often shows women participating in violent conduct. Apart from this, men are afraid to seek help when faced with such a situation. The stereotype of domestic violence being an act that is perpetrated by men and experienced by women still exists. Therefore when the tables are turned and the roles are reversed, what happens? Too often men are afraid to speak out for fear of ridicule or for fear that no one will take them seriously. They are embarrassed and ashamed that they are not living up to the so-called alpha male stereotype so they suffer in silence.

More and more initiatives are being set up to help and support male domestic violence victims. Campaigns such as the “She loves me, she loves me not” were set up in the U.K. last month and aim to encourage male victims to speak up and not suffer in silence. Similarly, at home, organisations such as Amen aim to provide assistance and advice to male victims of abuse.

Increased awareness, support groups and campaigns are needed in order to encourage men to stand up and speak out. There is only a certain amount that soap operas can highlight and characters can portray in thirty minutes of television. We need real people, real victims and real stories in order to acknowledge this issue because until we recognise it properly, it will continue to happen.